It’s just another day, isn’t it?!
I trust all of you wonderful neurodivergent brains have survived another festive time without too many woes, overwhelms, and meltdowns. All the hype and stress pre-Christmas, and during, for one or two days at most, can push the calmest person to their limits!
Through circumstances not in my direct control, I have inadvertently found myself now being able to choose exactly what I want to do. And in a beautiful way, I don’t have to do anything if I so desire. I can stay in my P.J.’s for the duration and eat what I want and when. Something to be sung from the hillside, where I reside, with the wonder and beauty and calmness that the solitude of living alone brings.
It wasn’t always like this, but this is the second passing of Christmas, where I have gone against the stereotypical grain and mold and raised a proverbial middle finger to the hype, consumer madness, and overall gratuitous indulgence that can lead to potential family feuds, arguments, burnt offerings, and the Monopoly board game that everyone loves to hate, up-ended on the dining table or thrown in a fit of rage in the direction of the festive fire a burning.
No ‘bah humbug! for me. I spread the love and positive thoughts to all who are dear to me. Peace and calm and an exchange of love, respect, and empathy are intertwined with what signifies the time of the year, and not necessarily what is indoctrinated in its various different forms with their own significance and beliefs surrounding Christmas. Each to their own, tolerance is key. Even more so now, as I see the world more polarized than ever before during the humble time I have spent spinning on this little blue orb.
As with the passing of time, our experience will alter and mutate. It’s the process of things, of life.
Once upon a time, I believed there was an old white-bearded man dressed up in red, complete with hat and booties, who flew around the world in a sleigh pulled across the sky with reindeer during the night, delivering gifts to all and sundry. It challenged me, even then, at a tender age, my belief in the logistics of how that would even be possible, but the magic of it all superseded the idea of not believing in anything, and I would excitedly leave a glass of sherry, a generous slice of Dundee cake, and a letter to Santa before I went to sleep every Christmas Eve. Until the belief bubble burst.
When you break the whole fable down, it doesn’t really age well. Some aging geezer entering all those children’s bedrooms throughout the night should raise some eyebrows, not to mention the subtle bribing aspect, and I don’t even want to harp on about why is he also portrayed as white because that would just seem to promote uncomfortable racial stereotypes, digressing towards other issues altogether, but I’ve typed it now and my mind is veering towards a myriad of thoughts surrounding the subject. Trust me, it doesn’t take much!
The collective sigh is almost palpable that another Christmas has almost come to pass. (Well, I can hear mine!) But that’s what’s important, how we deal with and respond with our own individual experiences and what it means to us.
Today marks the anniversary of my mum’s passing. No surprise that the significance of the time of year for me will never be quite the same again. Introspection envelopes me, and I light a candle and let the love and sweet memories rise and fill my heart and mind. I don’t feel morbid or melancholy; I simply miss her, and if I had one wish, it would be to hang out and chat and have another indulgent slice of her delicious Dundee cake (that’s similar to the English Christmas pudding but without all the bling!). I still talk to her regularly, but I’ll never hear her voice again or see her cheeky smile in realtime.
How I have evolved to accept the changes, embrace them even, open my heart, and let the emotions seep in, even if my ADHD traits will dare to drown me, (dare if you do, but I happen to be a most excellent swimmer), leads to a deeper understanding and acceptance of where I am in my life. By recognizing and facing our uncomfortable traits, will help you reduce the negative thoughts you had related to them, shed the fear, and subsequently free yourself away from the negative stigma. We are all wonderful, unique humans, just the way we are.
I guess what I really want to convey is that Christmas time can be particularly overstimulating and that if you find yourself struggling through the quicksand that becomes an overwhelm of emotions, instability, sensory overload, RSD, or all it’s okay to step away. Take time away, alone, to decompress. No shame if you just want to check out and not conform with everything Christmas and holiday times bring. It will always help to recognize exactly what is happening, even as the uncomfortable sensation arises, using the awareness to analyze and separate from what is happening in the here and now or what could be perceived or is not relevant to the now. It could be a trigger from the past; break it down and move through the experience. Use somatic practice to soothe yourself. Totems that you can grasp along with deep breathing to calm your nervous system.
Go for a walk or put on some of your favourite music and dance. Cry if you want. Just let it all out! And don’t forget, it’s absolutely fine to do that. Be gentle and kind to yourself as you would be to others. Know what lights you up and move towards it!
After all, it’s only a moment; it’s only just another day!
Please feel free to leave a comment about your personal experiences during the holiday festive time. Peace, love and good health to all! ♥
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